Marriage Advice
In the modern age, there is one thing true about marriage. Never before in the history of the world has
so much been written about and accessible to married couples. There are more books on improving marriage,
surviving marriages, and restoring brokenness in marriages than ever
before. Yet, we are still seeing no
decline in the number of marriages that have issues – even among
Christians. The reality is that marriage
is difficult regardless of the resources you have.
So where does Peter turn in chapter 3? Peter begins chapter 3 with the expression, “likewise”
or “in the same way.” Peter tells us
that marriage should mimic what Peter just got done talking about. So let’s make sure that we remember that context
from the end of chapter 2. Peter just
finished talking about how Christ had no sin, how He didn’t revile in return,
how He didn’t threaten when challenged, how He trusted in the Father, how He
bore the sins of others, and how by His wounds we were healed.
Then Peter says, “Marriage should be like that.” That’s pretty inspiring when you put it in
its proper context. When one spouse
doesn’t treat the other spouse right, we should act like Jesus did when he wasn’t
treated right. You’ve got to admit, that’s
setting a pretty high bar right there.
But what I find most inspiring about this passage is the “why.” Peter could have easily said, “Because God
commands it.” He does, after all. We are to love – even our enemies. When marriages are bad, sometimes the spouse
is considered an enemy. Just because a
spouse is an enemy is no excuse to disobey God and not love.
But that’s not actually where Peter goes. Peter talks about submitting like Christ so that
the spouse may be won over by the Christ-like person inside. It isn’t our ability to always be right that
wins people over. It isn’t our aggressive
domination of them that wins people over.
It isn’t our ability to yell and argue and fight that wins people over. It is our humbleness and willingness to serve
that wins people over. It is our
willingness to approach life with an openness to understand that wins people
over.
You see, submission is never about power or control. Jesus was in full control and greatly
empowered when He hung on that cross.
Submission is about obedience to God and putting others before
yourself. That’s what Jesus did on the
cross. That’s also the mark of a healthy
marriage. I’m willing to bet that every
marriage that has had a rough spot – or even fallen apart – has much to do with
one person or both thinking about themselves first.
Submission
Having spoken specifically to marriage, Peter then opens up the
conversation to life in general. You
see, marriage is probably one of the most rewarding yet difficult things a
person could ever do. So it needed a
specific addressing here in this letter.
However, the same skills that make for a good marriage also make for
good friendships, good communities, and good nations.
Do you hear what Peter stresses?
Unity, sympathy, brotherly love, tenderness, humbleness, peace-keeping,
seeker of truth. Those characteristics
aren’t what makes a person a leader in the world of business. But those characteristics are what makes a
person a leader in a family, a friendship, or a community.
Peter then asks an important question. “Who is there to harm you if you are zealous
for what is good?” The reality – and Peter
knows it – is that there are plenty who would love nothing more than to take
advantage of the “nice guys.” After all,
don’t nice guys always finish last?
So Peter says, “But even if you should suffer, you will be
blessed.” And now we’re back to the
point of submission. Submission is about
perspective. It is about acknowledging
God’s ways are better. It is about
putting other people before ourselves.
That’s the point of submission.
When we submit to others, we do often get walked upon. But when we submit to God, we can trust that
He will see our submission and bless us.
If the blessing does not come here and now, it comes definitely in the
life to come.
Back to Christ
So where does Peter leave us off as he drives home his point about
submission as a way of life? Peter says
that we are to remember that Christ suffered and died for our sake. Jesus submitted to God for us so that we
might be brought into salvation.
Submission to God for the sake of others is what it means to be a
Christian.
Difficult Passages
As for the last few verses in this chapter, most scholars consider
these to be some of the hardest verses to understand in the New Testament. In fact, more than one Biblical scholar has
made the comment that if Peter knew the angst that the words would cause people
across the generations, he never would have written them. In that light, I will consider my words
carefully. When most Biblical scholars
agree that understanding this passage is difficult, I think it is prudent that
we not make too many hard and fast assertions based upon these words.
Essentially, Peter is saying that Jesus has proclaimed His Gospel
to those who died before the crucifixion. However, we should not think that Jesus let
everyone who ever lived into heaven at that point. This is why Peter speaks of the ark. Of all the people alive at the time of the
great flood, only eight were willing to put themselves in God’s hands and get
on the ark. In the same way, Christ went
to proclaim to those who had died in the faith prior to His physically
coming. Jesus knew who the ones were who
obeyed without having to see Him. Jesus
knew who the faithful were. To them He
proclaimed the Gospel so that they might know the salvation they had always
believed would come from God.
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