Year 8, Day 309: Proverbs 18

Theological Commentary: Click Here

There are several proverbs in this chapter that make a ton of sense to the introvert.  I am an introvert, so I’ll expound on that today.  Please note that these proverbs apply just as much to the extrovert, they just cut very close to the being of the introvert.

An introvert is not someone who is timid or shy.  Timid and shy people can be extroverts, too.  An introvert is someone who gains energy by being alone or by being in small groups of people they know.  They’ve done studies to show that introverts are far more sensitive to the effects of dopamine than extroverts – meaning that it is easy for an introvert to overdose on dopamine – which is why introverts don’t like surprises (and especially hate surprise parties) or loud places, or crowds, or a ton of stimulation at once.  They’ve also done studies to show that while extroverts perceive the world around them through their senses – which is why they typically respond far more quickly than an introvert – an introvert perceives the world around them through the memory portion of the brain.  This is why most introverts can’t tell you how they feel in the moment; they need to think about it for a day or so to tell you how they really felt.  An introvert needs to make it a memory and then process it; the extrovert simply responds to the stimulus and decides to make a memory of it later.

Wy bring all of this out today?  Proverbs 18:13 speaks into the soul of the introvert.  If one gives answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.  Introverts inherently understand the importance of actually listening, thinking about what was said, and then responding only after a proper analysis has been done.  There is no point in formulating your answer while the other person is still speaking!  When we do that, we diminish our ability to listen and likely miss nuances within what the other person is saying.  Instead, listen.  Then formulate your answer.  Then speak what you believe to be true.

Or, take the last proverb in the chapter.  A many of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.  If you are an introvert, you’ll understand when I say that I have about 6 friends in my life.  I have many acquaintances.  I have lots of people whose names I know and whose opinions I’ve heard.  But in this life, I have about 6 people who truly know me, know my struggles, can guess how I’m feeling just by looking at me, and in whom I confide.  Introverts understand that a person’s importance does not equate to their popularity.  The person with many friends is not a better person.  In fact, if we have too many friends we cannot possibly know them all.  We let people into our circles of confidence before we can vet them out and understand if they are good for us or bad for us.  If we have too many friends we can’t determine who is there for us and who is there for themselves and could really care less about us.  Many companions may lead to ruin; but a few close friends can carry you through your life.

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