Year 1, Day 331: 2 Samuel 14

Beware the People Who Want Your Friendship Too Much

I once had seminary professor who gave a great piece of insight.  Well, he gave several pieces of insight – this was just one of them.  He said: “Be very wary of those people in the congregation who come to you at the beginning and want to be your friends.  True spiritual friendships take time and they aren’t forced.  Those who come at the very beginning often have an agenda and their agenda usually involves getting to you before the ‘other side’ gets to you.”

Now, this is phenomenal advice for everyone, not just pastors.  Beware of anyone who is really trying hard to be your friend.  Good friendships that develop over time will be quite natural and they will feel natural.  But when someone is trying too hard to be your friend, something should smell a bit funny.

How does this piece of advice apply to this passage?  Well, David already has a soft spot for Absalom – he is one of his sons after all.  2 Samuel 13:37 tells us that David mourned for him.  Then along comes a woman who seems to have a request that is tailor-made for the desires of his heart.  David would love to find a reason to bring Absalom home.  Now he has one.

Sure, David may not know all the details of the story between Absalom and Amnon.  But certainly David remembers that Absalom killed Amnon – he was told that much!  This woman comes with a fictitious tale that makes Absalom’s act seem more like an accident than the premeditated murder that it was.  David should have sniffed it out for a lie; this woman is trying too hard to give David what he wants!  But his heart helps him to be deceived.  He may not want to be used, but Joab is using the woman to get to David to accomplish his purposes.  Beware people who come to be your friend unnaturally.  They tend to have unseen agendas on their plate.

God’s Will – or Joab’s Will

To make my case and point, let’s look at the false base that the woman has for her argument.  In 2 Samuel 14:14 the woman is making the case that David’s potential proclamation to allow Absalom to come back would be a demonstration of God’s will.  What the woman is claiming is simply not true.  This is Joab’s will, not God’s will.  The woman comes to David under false pretenses and lies about speaking regarding the will of God. 

It is sad to see the lengths that someone will go to accomplish their will.  For someone to imply that they know God’s will while actively going about it in deceitful means is simply … sinful.

God Does Deal with the Outcast

But on one level – a level completely unintended by the woman of Tekoa – she is right.  God does have ways of dealing with the banished one so that he is no longer an outcast.  In fact, God has two specific ways.  The first is through the judgment seat.  A person who is unrepentant can come to the judgment seat of God and hear about their guilt.  They will have no excuse because God is not fooled by either the excuses of mankind or our rationalization of our sin.  Sin is sin, and the judgment seat of God will expose sin.  There is no escaping this avenue for God’s dealing with the “outcast” (or in this case the “sinner”).

But there is another way.  The outcast who humbles himself before God and repents of his ways can find forgiveness from God.  The accountability and consequences for the sin is present, but the guilt is removed.  This is precisely why Jesus Christ has come to the cross!  This is the second means that God uses for dealing with the “outcast” (or in this case the “sinner”).

Back to the Story

But does David encourage repentance from His son?  No. 

Again we see the problem of generation sin.  David has killed men for less reason that Absalom killed Amnon.  David had Uriah the Hitite killed simply because he wanted to possess Bathsheba.  If David demands repentance from Absalom he would be a hypocrite, would he not?  But remember what I said before.  Fear of being a hypocrite is no excuse to remain silent.  Sin is sin.  If we have something within us that makes us a hypocrite, then we should confess it so that we can go out and righteously call others to repentance with us!  David demands no repentance from Absalom; and no repentance is offered from Absalom.

Fearing the hypocrisy, David simply allows Absalom to return with no sign of repentance.  David may have felt good about being “forgiving,” but this is simply ridiculous.  David has not extended forgiveness to Absalom; what he has extended is the right to hide from his sin.  As you might expect, this is not exactly one of David’s shining moments. 

And it’s going to get worse before it gets any better, unfortunately.  Over the next few days we shall read about the downward spiral of sin that is allowed to go unchecked.

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