When we
get to 1 Corinthians 13 we hear one of the most abused wedding passages in the
whole Bible. But it is still a great
chapter. However, today I want to go a
little deeper in our understanding of “Love.”
Love
Many have
heard that there are 3 kinds of love to the Greek mindset. There is “eros” (ἔρως) – an intoxicating
love which causes a feeling of desiring another person or thing. There is “philia” (φιλία) – a love that
genuinely is directed to all because of the innate qualities that the person or
object possesses. Then there is “agape”
(ἀγάπη) – a love that is passionate
(but not like eros) and genuine towards others (but not like philia).
That
definition of agape isn’t very helpful, so let me try and unpack it for a
second. The problem with agape love is
that it has many ways of being employed.
One of the easiest uses to see are the times that it is used like Romans
1:7: “To the ones in Rome who are loved by God.” This case shows us that agape love has an
element of making distinctions. After
all, if there are some in Rome who are loved by God, then there must be some
who are not loved by God. {Two other examples of this are 1
Thessalonians 1:4 and Jude 1} One of
the reasons I like this definition is because it helps distinguish between agape
from eros and philia. Eros is a love
that makes distinctions, but it is based upon an impulse or an instinctual kind
of love. Philia doesn’t make any
distinctions; it is a genuine love for all things. Agape is a love that makes distinctions but
it makes those distinctions based logic, reasoning, experience, rationalisms, etc.
Another
way of thinking about agape love is “that which is dear to us.” This helps us refine the distinction nature
of agape that we saw above. When a
person experiences eros, they simply want to possess it. Think of eros as lust. When I lust after something or someone, they
are not dear to me. Eros causes me to
possess the thing or person out of an intoxicated desire to have it. Philia – in a strange twist of fate –
likewise isn’t a love that comes because something or someone is dear to
us. I might have genuine philia love to
all Christians. That doesn’t mean every
Christian is dear to my heart, it means that I genuinely appreciate all people
in Christ whether or not I know them. As
another example, I can say that I have philia towards all coneflowers. That doesn’t mean that every coneflower plant
in the world is dear to me, it means that I appreciate them as a group. In contrast, agape love is a love born out of
an innate quality of something being dear to our heart. A child might love their “blankie.” They might not want all blankets, they want
their specific “blankie” that is dear to them.
God has agape love for His people because they are dear to Him.
This is a
great time to talk about John 3:16. It
says, “For God so ‘agaped’ the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever
believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” At first this love sounds like philia, but it
isn’t. God loved the whole world,
absolutely. But the only people who
benefit from this love are those who believe in Christ. Those who believe in His Son – His Word made
flesh among us – are the ones who are dear to Him and who genuinely receive
salvation from sin and death.
John 3:16 is
not an expression of eros; God does not desire to possess us out of some
intoxicating passion. This is not an
expression of philia; interestingly enough that would imply a universal salvation
as it would imply God loving all people equally. Sending Jesus to us is an expression of agape
love – love directed to a specific category of people who are dear to Him
because they love His Son.
The Root Must Be Love
I could go
on, but I really should do some theology here about the chapter at hand. In 1 Corinthians 13 we see that Paul says
that if we have great charisma, wonderful charm, all the faith in the world, a
compassionate spirit, or incredible wisdom and we don’t have agape – we are
useless. Let that sink in for a
second. If we possess some of the greatest
Christian traits but don’t have agape – there is no point to it. Paul isn’t saying that we aren’t saved; he’s
saying that there is no point to anything we can do.
I’ve met
many people in this world who have a profound understanding of Scripture but have
no genuine desire to share it with other people. I’ve met people who can dangle the hearts of
their listeners over the pit of Hell and make them question their
salvation. I’ve met people in this world
who seem to be looking for any excuse to be a martyr for all the wrong
reasons. I’ve even been all those people
myself from time to time! If I don’t
genuinely have a dear love for people in my life and their salvation; nothing I
do is worthwhile.
Agape is
patient, kind, joyful, accepting of the burdens of others, believing, hopeful,
and enduring. It is free from envy, boasting,
arrogance, rudeness, selfishness, irritability, and resentfulness. Agape is not afraid of making distinctions
based on that which should be near and dear to us – the salvation of
others. That is agape. Christ on the cross – saving those who put
their trust in Him – that is agape.
The Unusual Mix of Pain and and Hope
Paul then
glimpses into the future. This is a neat
passage because it is in this passage that we can genuinely hear the hope and
the pain mix in Paul’s heart. Paul is
pained – like all genuine disciples of Jesus Christ – in the way that we have
so much difficulty expressing agape love in this world. We don’t see each other fully now. We fight, argue, and misinterpret things that
are said. But one day we will see each
other fully because we will see each other through the eyes of Christ. Here and now, our worldly nature makes us
seem childlike, selfish, and immature more often than we would all care to
admit. But there will come a day when we
will be able to make the right decisions because we will make them through the
genuine presence of God.
It does my
heart good to see Paul struggling through his inability to be the person he
knows God wants him to be. I feel this not
because I enjoy his pain but because in the verses that close out this chapter
I can see a genuine camaraderie with Paul.
I can’t wait for the day when we can be face to face in the presence of
God and express how great it is to no longer see faith as though looking into a
dim mirror.
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