Year 4, Day 331: 2 Samuel 14

Theological Commentary: Click Here

Discipleship Focus: Approval

• Approval: We all need to feel as though we are accepted.  When we seek the approval of God, our Up is in the right place.  But when we seek the approval of other people besides God, we open the door to pursuing false gods and risk putting someone or something other than God in our Up position.

In this chapter we get several horrible glances at what approval – misguided or even lack thereof – can do to relationships.  We see it in Joab.  We see it in Absalom.  We see it in David.

Let’s start with David, because he continues to be the central character.  In this story, David absolutely refuses to allow Absalom to have any means to regain approval in David’s eyes.  Remember two things.  First of all, Absalom killed David’s first-born, Amnon.  So David does have a bit of a right to be angry with Absalom.  But also remember that Absalom is also David’s son.  Even in his darkest moments, Absalom needs some hope for approval and restoration.  David blocks Absalom from this first by not welcoming Absalom into the city and then by not welcoming Absalom into the palace even when David is tricked into allowing Absalom back into the city.  David doesn’t realize the negative impact that his disapproval actually has upon Absalom.

Second, let’s look at Joab.  Joab is seeking approval of the world around him.  First of all, Joab wants Absalom to come back to Jerusalem.  This is his own desire, but we also will learn in the next chapter that Absalom was well liked by the people.  Therefore, Joab is seeking the approval of the greater community by being the person who smoothed things out and who brought back the favorite prince.  He’s not seeking God’s approval and doing God’s will; Joab is seeking his own elevation in the eyes of the people around him.

Finally, let’s look at Absalom.  In some respects Absalom is the tragic person in the story.  He appears to genuinely want restoration to David.  He tries to see his father, but his father denies him access.  He tries to talk to Joab, but even Joab won’t have anything to do with Absalom after the beloved prince is returned to Jerusalem.  So what are the effects of this young man not having access to the approval that he so desperately desires and even needs?  We’ll see the big effect tomorrow.  But for now we can see that he destroys Joab’s barley field.  Absalom wants access to Joab enough that he will get it even if through negative means.  Of course, this also leads to a cordial – but certainly not meaningful – meeting between David and Absalom.

While I certainly do not condone Absalom’s murder of his brother Amnon, I also can’t help but feel for Absalom in this passage.  The door isn’t open for forgiveness.  He has no ability to find approval in anyone’s sight.  I can really understand Absalom’s question to Joab when he asks why he wasn’t allowed to stay where he was – because he was at least accepted there!  Life in which means to approval are denied to a person is no fun at all.  Over the next three of four chapters we shall see how this unravels the kingdom around David.

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