Trust and Relationship
1
Corinthians 6 is typically divided up into two sections. The first section is all about trust and
relationships. I know, a ton of people
want to make 1 Corinthians 6:1-11 about legal issues. It is, but if that’s all the deeper we go
with it, we miss the point.
Paul does
make a good point, though. Why do those
of us who supposedly believe that God is the highest authority in the land
allow a legal system that does not get its authority from God to make decisions
for us? Yes, I do realize I’m sounding
rather un-American for a moment. Give me
a second to explain myself.
Don’t get
me wrong. I do believe that the
government has the right to govern in secular matters. They have the right to set speed limits. They have the right to establish tax rates. They have the right to organize militias and
armies. The secular government can do
all of that and should do all of that.
However…
- What makes any of us think that the secular government has the right to absolve a marriage that God made? In the case of a secular marriage performed by the Justice of the Peace, I have no issue with a judge absolving so long as God is not ever called as a witness to the marriage.
- What makes any of us think that a secular judge can do a better job of sorting out a land dispute between self-professing Christians?
- Why do any of us honestly think that a secular judge can do a better job of handling a financial dispute between self-professing Christians?
Is a judge
going to be able to appeal to the Bible and the so-called faith that lives in
the people who cannot seem to get along?
Is a secular judge going to be interested in actually resolving the
problem or is the secular judge simply interested in rendering a fair judgment
regardless of whether the root of the problem ever gets resolved? I don’t mean this as an indictment against
secular judges. Actually, I feel bad for
them. Most are asked to make verdicts on
cases that are honestly much better off being settled outside of the court
system. If both offending parties
genuinely believe that God is the higher power, then why do we grant that power
to someone outside of the faith?
Of course,
there is reality, too. Sometimes we fall
into sin and because of our lack of humbleness we are not content with God’s
judgment. Often we don’t believe that a
Christian “judge” will be able to bring both parties to a “fair”
resolution. Sometimes in our bitterness we
want a temporal judge who can not only give us an edict but also have the
police force or legal system back up the judgment if necessary. Sometimes we trust that temporal, that real-world,
that can-see-and-hear-the-gavel ruling instead of trusting God.
Honestly,
I actually think that real reason behind all of this is because our spiritual
relationships are weak. As human beings,
we place our trust only in those people with whom we have great relationships
or in those that we are legislated to do so.
If two offending parties don’t have any spiritual people that they
mutually trust to help make a spiritual decision, then they must turn to the
government. It’s really as simple as
that.
Think
about it. What is easier: going to a
spiritual brother or sister who won’t charge a dime or taking something before
a secular court where there are court fees and possibly attorney fees? Certainly the Christian brother or sister is
easier and more cost effective. We
should want to go there first! But
because our spiritual relationships have grown weak – or even non-existent – and
our hearts are so hard that we demand enforcement, we don’t utilize the
Christian option all that often. We go
to a secular authority and live by the edict of the secular authority. And as Paul indicates in this chapter – it is
to our shame. We should be spiritually
growing and able to relate to one another spiritually. But instead we’d rather relate to one another
through the Law.
More Sex in Corinth
The next
topic brings us back to sex. Do you get
the idea that sex is a problem in Corinth?
Paul’s analogy about the food and the stomach is a bit obscure, so let
me try and help it make a bit more sense.
The stomach has one purpose in the body: to aid in the process of
digestion. Paul literally means that the
stomach is made to be involved with food.
Likewise, food is meant to be eaten.
On the
other hand, while our bodies are equipped for the enjoyment of sex, the body is
not made for sex. The body is made for a
great many things – and the Christian should have no difficulty saying that all
of those things should be able to be summarized under one heading:
accomplishing God’s will. If I am doing
something with my body that does not accomplish God’s will, am I really a
Christian?
This then
is the analogy. Use the tool for the
purpose that the tool has been designed.
The stomach is designed to process food.
So eat. The body is designed to
accomplish God’s will. So do that.
This
passage then defeats the argument that people say, “Well, sex is good and the
body was clearly made to enjoy sex.”
Sure, sex in the right context is good.
And sex, when done in a manner that fulfills God’s will, is very
pleasing. But sex that does not
accomplish God’s will – that is, sex that is done outside of a marriage or sex
that is “forced” or “guilted” upon a spouse – is not good and therefore the
body is not designed by God for that purpose.
Here’s the
short of it all. Have sex with your
spouse and only your spouse. If you are
not married to a person, do not have sex with them. The Bible is pretty universally clear on this
point.
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In the context of settling a dispute, can this be tied in with the passage in Matthew 18:15-17? Isn't it harder to face other Christians when you are found to be in sin? Yet when you are confronted, and still refuse to listen, then you're supposed to treat them like the outsider? I would think that this directly links why it might be easier to go to a secular judge because the only penalty there is money.
ReplyDeleteI'd tend to say that even if there is a problem with sex in Corinth - this passage can relate to today just as well. Look at the teen pregnancies, look at the high divorce rates (most of the time based on infidelity or lack of sexual compatibility), look at peer pressure, increased sex crimes due to easy access to pornography on computers - I would say that the United States today can definitely relate to the message being given to Corinth... Even further, as Christians in the US, we are too quick to not stand up for Christ for being afraid to defend our actions - seen in saying "Happy Holidays," not praying before a meal at a restaurant even if you do at home, or even kids who don't feel like they can express their beliefs in school because they've been told they can't. (This ties into stuff we've been doing in Bible Study - and I'm kinda stuck on it!)
Thanks for sharing again today! (I want to say that every day because I always learn SO much!)
You make an outstanding point about tying it to Matthew 18. I would add that if what you say is correct (and I believe that it is) then if we circumvent the "church" and go straight to the secular judges then it is even more to our shame because we are intentionally looping around Jesus' teaching for our own understanding. Double shame on us!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I absolutely agree. We do it because the only cost really is money. Again, I think it points us back to relationships. We'd rather separate with money than go through the painful process of managing relationships. Think about it. How many divorces would actually happen if the legal system said, "Nope, you were married by the church. Go find the pastor who married you and explain to him/her why you need to be divorced." I bet more than a few marriages would actually be saved. Or think about a monetary dispute. Imagine what would happen if a judge heard a monetary dispute and said, "Don't you guys belong to a church? Go ask the pastor(s) to help you settle the issue." I bet more than a few of those issues would end with an easement of the strain on the relationship rather than added strain because there was a "winner" and a "loser."
As for your comments sex, I concur that sex is a huge problem in America. In fact, a day ago Tom commented that the book of 1 & 2 Corinthians is so insightful ... and I think what he was pointing to is this very fact. So many things that the Corinthians struggle with are the same struggles that we all as Americans struggle with.
I do have to laugh at the term "sexual compatibility." I'm assuming that this means the partners have different emotional/social expectations for sex? From a Christian perspective is sexual compatibility even a justifiable reason? I don't personally think so. Scripture tells us that marital infidelity and abandonment are the only legitimate reasons for divorce - but even in these cases divorce is not mandatory.
Thoughts?
I definitely agree that a great deal of it ties into relationships as well and it's much harder to justify something if you have to declare it to God, isn't it? How many times do we continue in sin because it's easier than asking repentance for what we've done wrong. Now I'm beginning to wonder if it would be a good thing to make people go back to the pastor that married them and have them explain why they want a divorce -- However, in our diverse world, how many pastors are divorced too? (I'm sure there is some statistic...)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you laughed at the term sexual compatibility -- but isn't it so many times that a woman has a "headache" and the man wants SO MUCH MORE (at least based on the common media standpoint...and yes, there is some humor there.) I think that is one of the main reasons that people cheat. They aren't having their needs met at home up to their expectations. However, isn't a marriage more than just sexual intimacy? There is so much more that applies - but most times people stray because of that one thing. Yet, when you take time to step back and remember all the reasons you got married, the love that is in the relationship, and the bond which caused you to go before God and declare your love - you can see the depth of how God has blessed your relationship and matched your strengths/weaknesses to your partner. (And I'm pretty sure God didn't check to see if you were sexually compatible with your partner, right?) I guess I'm just under the impression that divorce isn't an answer to a problem, it's only avoidance. Does God want us to avoid our problems? Or is He there to help us and guide us? I like to believe in the latter...
Very interesting question on if you had to go back to the church. I'm sure some still would, but I bet less.
ReplyDeleteThere's a lot of reasons I think people get divorced, but I would agree with Brenda sex is a very common one from those I've spoken with. And, even when there are other valid reasons, sex seems to generally "make the list" as well.
Interestingly however, if we're following God's way we're not supposed to experience sex before marriage. This means it's almost guaranteed that if we are following God's ways we won't know ahead of time if there will be sexual issues with the person who becomes our spouse. However, American culture puts a LOT of emphasis on that area (sexual fulfillment and happiness). So, really just like super models with size 0 dresses our culture is putting some serious pressure on God-blessed sexuality and w/o a doubt our culture is impacted for it.
Past the above, it would make a great deal of sense to have "Christian Courts" that Christians voluntarily subjected themselves too. Isn't this what Moses set up, and then the Judges, and even in Jesus' time I believe the Jews went to the church leaders first (not Rome) with their problems if at all possible.
I would agree Bren, God is there to help and guide us in our problems.
For the record, we have seemingly narrowed in on divorce (I think because Paul talks about sex and people suing each other in this chapter so it is easy to land there). But just to be fair, I feel the need to remind us all that divorce is just a topic at hand with respect to the "legal" angle. The same thing would apply to the alcoholic. How much alcoholism would be avoided if Christians had to be in the presence of their pastor (or spiritual mentor, at least!) in order to buy the alcohol? Same thing with drugs. How much lying would not happen if we all wore around video recorders and our Spiritual Family got to hear exactly what we said every moment of every day. I think this issue of relationships and accountability is a gaping wound in American Christianity.
ReplyDeleteBrenda, I love your comment about pastors being divorced, too. Talk about a knife to the heart - I'm not divorced, but I know the statistics are not good. But you are right. And that's a beautiful example of exactly what Paul is talking about. Because we settle for the secular understanding and bypass the Christian potential of proper networking ... look at the damage that is done to the witness of the church - from the leaders of the church nonetheless.
As to your comments on marriage being more than sexual intimacy, I agree (and I hope I didn't give that impression. If I did, slap me on the wrist and tell me "no!"). I would concur that far too much emphasis in the marriage is put on sexual intimacy. We need to be intimate, but it does not always (or even often) need to be in the direction of sex. Spiritual intimacy is far more satisfying in the long term than sexual intimacy. Emotional intimacy is even more pleasing in the long term than sexual intimacy. But what is it we strive for? We don't want the "slow and low" consistent intimacy of spirituality or emotional stability. No, we want the "hot and heavy" passion of sex ... passion that burns itself out almost as fast as it comes. Great point.
Tom, I agree with your opening statement. I doubt many people would actually go back to the church to reconcile if that option was genuinely expected. In my dream-world, everyone would because it just makes sense. But in reality, I doubt it wouldn't make a difference in a large number of cases. But what about the few that it would make a difference in?
I think that the idea of "Christian Courts" is okay, but I don't know that it really needs to be that formal. If everyone had a spiritual mentor, would that not resolve the issue? If you and I have an issue, then we get together with our respective spiritual mentors and ask our spiritual mentors to help us out. If our spiritual mentors can't agree on the solution, then their spiritual mentors step in. If the problem is so big that eventually nobody can agree ... well, that's what the pastor/bishop/spiritual leader of the whole church/community is there for. I think we just need to revisit the idea of spiritual mentoring and ... as I said in the beginning ... I think that points us back on how wrong we are for undervaluing Spiritual relationships.
Having said that, let me take the time and not be guilty of that today. Thank you both for this most awesome conversation. I am blessed for it.
So then, if we HAD to go back to the church to resolve issues - no matter the nature - does this mean that there would be a reduction in sin, since going back to the pastor is harder than just going to the secular court? Or would it lead to more people leaving the church? (Just a thought I had in my head - sometimes when churches MAKE us do things we don't always feel like we are doing it for Christ...but for the human agenda -- would it turn that way if the consequences were ruled by the church?) Then would we ourselves not become more judgmental as well?
ReplyDeleteSorry -- things that have been popping up in my mind!
The one thing that I don't think will happen is a reduction in sin. Think of the most religious person you actually know. I guarantee you that person has sin in their life in spite of being the most religious person you know. Sin will always be there until we die, pay the consequence of sin, and God remakes us anew in the life to come where sin and death are done away with.
ReplyDeleteI do think it would genuinely lead to a more realistic understanding of sin and for those that did it would make their spiritual life come alive and take on a whole new layer of depth and seriousness. But I think this is true for all sin/confession, not just the stuff the courts could handle.
I also think that it would lead to a reduction in numbers. People would leave the church. But this is not a bad thing. People listened to Jesus wand walked away ALL THE TIME. How many times do we hear that Jesus preaches to a crowd and how many followers did He have at the end? 50? Maybe 100? We should expect people to walk away from Jesus. It might sound harsh, but I think the fact that we don't experience people walking away from Jesus more is to our discredit.
Jesus tells us that we will be mocked, flogged, put on trial for our faith. He tells us that our family will turn against us. He tells us that we will be persecuted for our faith. If we believe Jesus, then we shouldn't be afraid of a few people walking out the door. Just my pretty radical 2 cents on the topic.
Thanks John! That helped with my thinking. It's good to know that my thoughts weren't way off base!
ReplyDelete