Relationship Starts With Listening
In
seminary I was taught a very important lesson.
In order to be a good leader, I need to be able to listen. In fact, I was taught a very specific model. Listen first, talk second. When I attend a church meeting, talk to
someone out on the street, or field a question by a congregation member my
focus is always on listening first. Only
when I feel that I have a grasp of the other person’s understanding do I
reply.
Of course,
some days I’m better at that than others.
Some circumstances allow me to be better at this than others.
As we open
the book of Proverbs, I find it interesting to note that this is Solomon’s very
first point. The key to being wise is
found in the ear, not the lips. “Let the
wise hear” – and they shall obtain understanding. Those that understand then obtain guidance. Being guided is just a deeper form of
listening, is it not? If I desire to be
seen as wise, I must first close my mouth and devote my life to listening to
others.
Fear of the Lord
Then we
move into one of the biggest verses (and most often quoted verses) in the
Bible. “The fear of the Lord is the
beginning of knowledge.” Think about it
and this will come together in one coherent thought. When a person is in fearful respect of
another, what does one do in their presence?
One becomes humble. One becomes
quiet and subdued. One sees themselves
as the listener, not the instructor. When
we recognize our need to come into the Lord’s presence and listen rather than
come into the Lord’s presence and start talking about what is on our mind –
that is the beginning of wisdom. Isn’t
that a really cool thought?
How many
of us pray by forming words? How many of
us pray by saying, “Dear God” – or some other similar expression – and we keep
talking out loud or in our minds until we reach the end and we then say “Amen”
and go about our business? Where is the
time for listening in our prayer life?
When we approach the presence of God, do we not most often approach it
as though we are the center of our time with Him?
I often
picture our prayer life along the following lines. Imagine a home where the children are away
for a portion of the day (school, friend’s house, etc). The home is often nice and peaceful until the
children come home and then chaos breaks loose as the children come home, seek
out their parents, and begin telling the parents what they need, what happened
to them, etc. The young and the immature
enter into the life of the wise and mature and instead of pausing to learn they
demonstrate their immaturity by by-passing the opportunity to learn and instead
focus on themselves.
Just to be
honest, I know this happens because as a child I was really good at doing this
to my parents. So I’m pointing the
finger right at me as I type these words. How often does God feel the same way when we
come to Him in prayer?
As I
finally grew up, I learned – largely from my father – to come into the house
and just sit in his presence. I might
ask a question, but then I would listen.
Sometimes I’d listen to him for hours and he would talk and then I would
ask another brief question and he would talk for a while longer. Eventually through my dad I learned that as I
student I naturally wanted to demonstrate to my teacher (my dad) how smart I
was. But my dad already knew how smart I
was. The time was much better spent
letting Him teach me and not worrying about me trying to prove how smart I was
to my father.
I think
the same is even truer with God. God
already knows my life. He already knows
my needs and my desires. Yes, it is okay
for me to come to God in prayer asking for my needs. But it is even more important for me to
devote the majority of my time just listening to God. I don’t need to storm into His presence and
continue to focus on myself. I need to
humbly and fearfully enter into His presence, take a position on my knees
somewhere near the back of the room, and let His presence fill me and teach
me. That is the beginning of wisdom.
Being Simple
Moving
along in this first chapter of Proverbs, I also loved the point that Solomon
makes about wisdom calling out to the world and saying, “How long – oh simple
ones – will you be content being simple?”
It’s so shamefully true. I think
about how most of the time spent in conversation around this world goes. It’s pathetic, actually.
- “Did you see the game last night?” “Yeah.” “Man that defense was on fire.” “I’m just glad my team won.” {You know, because a week from now that victory will actually mean something significant in our life. Five years from now talking about that sporting event will really be significant, won’t it?}
- “Should I wear the red top with the blue pants or the green ones?” “Either looks fine, dear.” “Well, I think one brings out my eyes, but the other makes me look thinner.” {Again, in the long run does it really matter so long as we are presenting ourselves before God as a living sacrifice for Him to use?}
We human
beings are so simple. We allow ourselves
to be caught up and pulled into things that tomorrow won’t really make a bit of
difference in the world. We allow ourselves
to elevate things that are sheer entertainment into positions of significance
that should be reserved for deep interpersonal connection. We are often more concerned about whether our
favorite football or baseball team wins than whether the child down the street
ate dinner tonight. We are more
concerned about what outfit I wear than whether or not the homeless man is
going to freeze tonight. We are often
more concerned about whether people “like me” than whether or not that same
person even knows God and has a relationship with Him. How long, O simple ones, will we love being
simple?”
God’s Word
as we conclude this chapter gives us no reprieve. “The simple are killed by their turning
away.” “They shall eat the fruit of
their way and shall have the fill of their own devices.” When we choose our own simplicity over the
depth of God’s ways, we choose death. We
are so very good at choosing simple death over deep life. We – nay, I – do it
again and again.
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